Everyone wants to feel heard, understood, and accepted. Those are basic human desires. Some might even argue they’re basic needs, as they all help with validation.
In relationships, validation is incredibly important. Understanding and accepting the thoughts and feelings of a complete stranger is one thing. Letting the person you care about most know you value their thoughts and feelings is completely different.
It’s also necessary for a solid, intimate relationship.
But, why is validation so crucial for relationship success? What does it look like in relationships, and how can you make sure your partner feels validated?
Why Validation Matters
To say that we’re living in uncertain times would be an understatement. So many things in today’s society feel “up in the air”. On top of that, people are busier than ever.
Unfortunately, that makes it easy to let your relationship take a back burner, whether you realize it or not.
While that might not seem like a big deal on the surface, over time it can cause insecurities in the relationship. Your partner might not feel valued or appreciated, leading to bigger problems later on.
Validation can help to fight back against those feelings. It’s a way of showing your partner (and confirming to yourself) that your relationship matters. It’s a priority.
Validation is especially important when you disagree on certain things with your partner. When times are difficult or you’re arguing more often than not, showing your partner that their feelings and thoughts mean something will go a long way. It will prove that even though things aren’t perfect, your relationship is solid and your love for your partner is secure.
Building Communication Through Validation
You’ve probably heard before that communication is the key to a successful relationship. Validation is a huge part of that.
You can’t have a mature, effective discussion or disagreement with your partner if one of you feels disrespected. When you both show validation toward each other, you’re also showing mutual respect for one another’s feelings and opinions. That’s a crucial building block of solid communication. It will allow you to work through almost anything.
How Can You Be More Validating?
Keep in mind that validating doesn’t mean agreeing with everything your partner says. Rather, it’s about listening, understanding, and accepting. Your partner is entitled to their opinions and feelings. You don’t have to agree with everything, but you have to put in the effort to understand where they’re coming from.
You can do that more effectively by practicing active listening. Talk to your partner when you’re alone and it’s quiet. Avoid distractions like smartphones or having the television on in the background. Giving your partner your full attention is a simple step that can go a long way in helping them feel seen and understood.
In addition to listening, ask questions. Confirm what they’re saying and make sure you understand every word so there’s no room for confusion.
Sometimes, even when it comes to difficult conversations, getting answers to your questions can help you both to reach a more positive conclusion together.
Finally, acknowledge and accept what your partner says. Again, that doesn’t mean you have to agree with it. But, you have to respect their reality just as much as they have to respect yours. Doing so will make it easier to compromise and work on a solution to move forward.
Validation will not only make your relationship communication better, but it will improve your bond and strength as a couple. If you know you’re not taking steps to validate your partner, it’s time to make a change. Start listening, acknowledging, and accepting their feelings right away. You might be surprised by how much your relationship changes when you do.
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