Nancy Becker Therapy Can Help You Make A Satisfying Life!
I’ll work with you on the issues that often interfere with the enjoyment of your life:
- Marriage and Couples
- Satisfying relationships take work and tending on a regular basis. Life decisions and goals take ongoing discussion. Marriage counseling and couples counseling help you tend to your relationship and have those important ongoing discussions in a productive way.
- Anxiety can be an overwhelming part of your life. Anxiety treatment can make your life much more manageable and satisfying.
- Depression can remove the pleasure from your life. Depression treatment be the difference between a grey life and a vibrant, satisfying one.
- I’ll help guide you through this tender time in your life….I’ll also take on the deeper work to help you deal with the emotional and psychological stress, combat the hopelessness and helplessness you may be feeling, and develop the resilience you need to be able to heal and move forward in your life.
- Are you struggling with infertility? Do you need to know what your treatment options are? Would you like support for going through the process? It doesn’t have to be a lonely journey by yourself or with just your partner!
- You may be looking at the adoption option after miscarriage or having tried infertility treatments. You want to be a parent, and adoption may be an unexpected path to creating a family….You’ve probably heard that adoption is a tough process. But that’s where I come in. I’m here to separate the adoption myths from the facts and to tell you that it’s absolutely doable! Let me use my professional and personal experience to help you navigate the process.
- Parenting Counseling and Effectiveness
- Whose needs come first: my partner’s, my baby’s, or mine? How do I deal with the lack of sleep? Will we ever get back to a sex life? Where are the instructions????!!!! Parenting counseling can be invaluable as you deal with these questions and situations. I’ll help you navigate through this uncharted territory.
- Teen Concerns and School Placement
- When you’re seeing behavioral problems, it’s important to remember that these are the external expression of internal struggles, because teens use behavior more than words to express themselves. If you’re concerned about your middle schooler, high schooler, or college-age child, give me a call. I’ll help you learn to help him or her, stop trying to control and start learning to parent effectively, learn to move past what you learned growing up to really be there in a positive way for your child(ren).
- Job and Work Support
- If your work life isn’t satisfying, that’s a major part of your life. Good treatment can make a difference. I look forward to helping you apply your creativity to solving your job and career challenges.
- Women in Business
- Let me help you understand what you learned growing up that may have helped in your professional life—and what gets in the way….Over time you may see that one of the keys to your success is working smarter, not harder, using your creativity and resourcefulness in ways you had never considered.
- Substance Use
- There are nearly as many reasons for substance use as there are substance users. In counseling we’ll uncover your reasons, so you can develop more productive ways to deal with the underlying issues. This deeper work can mean the difference between a satisfying life and a white-knuckle abstinence from substances with no real change in you.
How do you define success?
- An Ivy degree?
- C-suite job?
- Six-pack abs?
- Looking 10 years younger than you are?
- Great health?
- Multiple properties?
- Long-lasting marriage?
- Child(ren) in leadership roles in top schools?
Many people are anxious about what other people think of them. Maybe this describes you:
- Worried about what your boss thinks of your work, which equals you?
- Concerned that your partner no longer finds you the most attractive person in the room?
- Anxious in social situations?
- Scared about giving a speech?
- Wondering if people think you’re the smartest person in the room?
- Upset that your partner or your child is making you look bad?
Notice all the descriptions of uncomfortable feelings in the bulleted list above—worried, concerned, anxious, scared, wondering, upset. Where do all these uncomfortable feelings come from? Concern about other people’s opinions!!!
Can you imagine not caring what others think of you?!
If you’re not motivated by other people’s opinions, you go through life in a much more comfortable, enjoyable way, even while juggling the demands of your busy life. You stop trying to get attention from others; you have a different motivation.
Let me give you an example. Attention, acclaim, or the big payoff (however you define it): when it’s motivated by other people’s opinion, it feels empty when you achieve it. It’s like a sugar rush. Feels great for about 20 minutes—till your blood sugar plummets! Then you need more and more, always more. That’s gratification, and it’s a set-up for a crash, emptiness.
Depending on which dietary theory you subscribe to, satisfaction is the protein, the complex carbohydrates, or the healthy fat in your diet. Satisfaction is the long-lasting good feeling, the ability to generate your own happiness and well-being from the inside, rather than depending on someone else to deliver it to you, through their approval or good opinion of you.
A satisfying life is lived from the inside out!
So, a meaningful definition of a successful, satisfying life starts from the inside, with the things that matter:
- Reliable self-esteem
- Stable moods
- Meaningful relationships
- A good work ethic
- A sense of fun
- Ability to make the best of whatever situation you’re in.
The good news is that these are characteristics you can learn to develop and control. You don’t have to depend on someone else to give them to you!
All of that sounds good, you may be thinking, but that’s easier said than done. And you’re right!Unless all of that was consistently modeled for you when you were growing up, it’s not going to come naturally to you. And very few people had that consistently modeled for them. Your parents may have been very well-intentioned, but probably no one modeled those characteristics for them either!
That’s where I come in.
I’ll work with you to build on the helpful things you learned growing up, and learn from the things that weren’t so helpful. Through our work together, you begin to make a more satisfying life, deal with the difficult situations and relationships in your life, manage the transitions you face, stabilize your moods, set a work-life balance that works for you, and have a life that makes sense and feels good!
Counseling helps you manage transitions.
Let’s look at transitions, because we all face them. They may be in your love life, in your work life, or in your leisure activities. Transitions may be positive or negative, but either way, they carry stress. It’s important to develop the resilience needed to manage transitions in all parts of life.
- Perhaps you’re dealing with the loss of a major relationship through a bad breakup, divorce, or death of a loved one.
- Or you find relationships difficult: dating, marriage, friends, colleagues, clients, children, parents.
Or you may be facing a positive transition in your relationships:
- Finally starting to date after a breakup
- Starting a family
- Exploring life with your partner after your children leave home.
Since you spend so much of your time at work, a transition in your work life can affect the rest of your life in positive and negative ways. These are some of the work transitions in which I’ve helped people:
- First jobs after graduation
- Leaving salaried jobs to freelance
- Leaving freelancing for a staff job
- Climbing the corporate ladder
- Work-life balance
- Setting up a workable job situation to start a family
- Beginning part-time work or relaunching your career from part-time to full-time when
your children are older
If you don’t know how to relax at the the end of the workday or on vacation, we’ve got a challenge ahead. We’re going to convert your life from a grind to a satisfying one that includes fun! Do you make the most of every day, or do you bring a sense of being burdened wherever you go? Are you fully enjoying your life, approaching it with gusto? Or are you checking the boxes of things you’re “supposed” to do, while you’re running out the clock on your life? If you’ve achieved a certain level of external success, why aren’t you feeling good?
I’m ready to help
I’m an Upper West Side NYC therapist in practice since 1985. I provide individual and marriage counseling and couples counseling, and treat older adolescents up through older adults with many types of issues.
Asking for help is a sign of strength, and when you reach out to me by phone or email, you’re taking the first step toward achieving the enjoyable and satisfying life you want. Counseling isn’t quick and easy, though some people experience improved mood fairly quickly (see testimonial below), but the time and effort are definitely worth it to feel better!
“Though it’s only been a few months working with Nancy (after many rounds of therapy in my past with other therapists), I’m moving quickly and successfully through lifelong issues. I’m a motivated client as I have grown children and grandchildren with whom I wish to forge loving relationships unburdened by old ‘fixed ideas’. Already my younger daughter said, “Mom, you’re different. Much easier to be with…” Nancy is clear, direct and encouraging throughout our sessions. I take notes because I value her words so deeply and because my memory isn’t as good as it used to be. I reference her phrases and include them in my self-talk. I’ve already referred to friends to Nancy, and they have thanked me.”
Take some time to read through the pages on my website that address the issues you’re dealing with, and be sure to read the FAQs page to learn the difference between counseling and therapy (I offer both), why we don’t just deal with the present in treatment, and why I focus on reality. You can also read about my background here.