PARENTING COUNSELING AND EFFECTIVENESS
Questions asked by new parents:
- Whose needs come first: my partner’s, my baby’s, or mine?
- How do I deal with the lack of sleep?
- Will we ever get back to a sex life?
- My partner is so different now! What about the person I fell in love with?
- Why can’t I stop crying? Is this normal?
- Should my baby adjust to my life? Or am I supposed to adjust to his or hers?
- The pediatrician says I should start sleep training. I don’t know. How should I decide?
- When will the baby get on a schedule?
- How can I be sure my baby will be happy?
- When should we start trying to have another baby?
- Where are the instructions????!!!!
Parenting support on the Upper West Side can help you manage conflicts
What if you and your partner have different parenting ideas? Anxiety can increase when you’re more sleep deprived than ever, you’re doing something you’ve never done before, and both of you are trying to meet your baby’s needs. With different ideas on everything from sleep training to sex, you’ve got an excellent recipe for conflict.
Develop your style
And I’m not talking about fashion! Come alone, with your partner, with your baby, with your partner and your baby—any combination is fine with me!—and let’s talk about your concerns. I’m an expert professional who’s an experienced parent and I want to provide you the relief of being heard and helped at this time in your young family’s life. I’ll help you understand how your family experiences growing up shaped your parenting and partnership ideas. I’ll help you let go of what’s faulty and build on what works. Through this process you’ll learn to think through parenting decisions and discover your own conscious parenting style. And you’ll learn how to help build your baby’s self-esteem from the beginning by being there for your baby in ways that are important to him or her and that will feel good to you, the parents.
Questions asked by parents of older children:
- How should we monitor our child’s homework?
- What about screen time and social media?
- How do we help our child deal with the news that he or she will be a big brother or sister? When do we tell, and how do we help him or her?
- My child is worried about the state of the world? How do I explain current events? How do I help my child deal with his or her fears?
- My partner says I’m spoiling our child. I think my partner’s too rigid. How do we deal with our differences?
- Why is my child so different from me? What should I do?
- Most of the time our child is in his or her room, door closed. What should we do?
- How can we help with our child’s lower grades? What’s wrong?
- Our child is stressed over the standardized tests. If he or she is this stressed now, how will our child ever manage the NYC high school admissions process? And college? How can we help?
- We think our child is using alcohol and/or drugs. What should we do?
- What do we do about sex?
Of course you want your child to have a great start in life in order to make a successful life as he or she gets older. What constitutes success? Academic or sports awards, school leadership roles? Having more friends than you did as a child? Being admitted to a top university? Volunteering in the community? Being handsome or beautiful? Having a great sense of humor?
How involved should you be as a parent as your child enters adolescence? How do you deal with the storminess you’ve heard about adolescence? Does attachment parenting still apply when your child is in middle school, high school, college?
Parenting counseling can be invaluable as you deal with these questions and situations. I’ll help you navigate through this uncharted territory, manage your own feelings of anxiety, anger, or hurt, and help your adolescent through his or her hormonally-turbo-changed versions of the same feelings. This “hormonal storm” is a challenge and you may wonder if your family will get through it, but I’ll help you through so that you can help your child reach young adulthood with solid self-esteem, a reliable work ethic, an enjoyment of connection, a warmth toward others and life in general, a healthy respect for authority coupled with critical thinking skills, and an active engagement as a responsible world citizen.
Testimonial of a patient in parenting counseling
“Nancy was recommended to me about five years ago as an excellent therapist, and this description has proven to be accurate. She helps me pull the band aid off things and feeling I might prefer to keep covered, to let the air get in and start the healing process. We have been working on parenting issues, where I’m slowly becoming a more patient and loving mother.
I can say that through my (hard) work with Nancy, I am happier and developing necessary skills (and improving on a few that I already had) to manage life’s anxieties and the stresses that come from raising teenagers.”
We have more thoughts about parenting counseling….
Isn’t it expensive?
What does it cost your child and your family if you don’t deal with your parenting issues? Ignoring the problems or continuing the same failed strategies costs you and your child(ren) unhappiness that can last the rest of your life, your child’s life, and into future generations. It’s being in a lifetime penalty box for you and your child. Caring and love aren’t enough. Watching your child suffer now and into adulthood is incredibly painful for parents, especially knowing that you unwittingly had a part in that suffering. You may be less productive in your life and miss time at work, if you ignore parenting problems now. I promise you they will not go away on their own. They will only grow larger over time, often exponentially larger.
My partner doesn’t want to participate in parenting counseling.
You can still attend and learn about yourself and what interferes with your being the type of parent you want to be. Even when only one parent comes for treatment, the parenting can become more satisfying for both parents and the family functioning can improve.
What can we expect in parenting counseling?
I offer a warm, nonjudgmental, compassionate setting for you to discuss your concerns. I won’t tell you what to do, but will help you explore what has influenced your parenting style and ideas of parents and children. I’ll help you develop more empathy toward your child, and help you understand child development, so the decisions you make are right for your family. You and your family will deal with the consequences of your decisions, so they need to be ones you’re comfortable with. I help you think through the consequences of the decisions you’re considering, but how you raise your child(ren) is your decision. I’ll work with you on communication, your thought process, and setting realistic, age-appropriate expectations for yourself, your partner, and your child(ren).