Entering the dating world can feel overwhelming, and even scary. Whether you just got out of a long relationship or you’ve had a string of short relationships that failed, you might be wondering if you’re the problem. 

Chances are, the answer is both yes and no. Relationships typically don’t work out because there are issues with both people involved. However, it’s essential to look at some of your dating patterns before you enter into another relationship. If you go into a new relationship without using any of the knowledge you gained from previous ones, you could be setting yourself up for disaster again. 

Yes, every relationship is a learning experience—especially the ones that didn’t work out. 

So, how can you stop repeating the past? Let’s take a closer look at how you can learn from your relationship mistakes so they don’t happen again. 

Stay Strong in Your Values

One of the biggest mistakes people make when they’re excited about a new relationship is changing how they act around that partner. It’s normal to put your best foot forward when you’re dating. But, if you’re not staying true to yourself, you won’t be able to put up the “act” forever. 

Even if you do, you’ll be incredibly unhappy. 

Stay strong in your values and be true to who you are. The right person will like your personality and the values you hold dear. While it’s okay to be open to change and to grow with each relationship, you should never feel like you have to give up who you truly are to make things work with someone. 

Be Open to Trusting Again

If you’ve had a string of failed relationships or you’re getting out of a long relationship where you were betrayed, don’t let yourself be jaded by what someone else did. 

Bad relationships can harden you and make you hesitant to trust anyone new. While it’s okay to be careful (and even a bit picky) with a potential partner, don’t automatically assume the worst about them, or go on a date with the assumption that things will fail before they even get started. 

couple holding hands walking on beach at sunsetAvoid the Same “Type” of People You’ve Been With Before

Even if you don’t think you have a “type” when it comes to relationships, consider some similarities between the people who haven’t worked out. They probably had some red flags early on that you might have ignored for a while. 

It’s okay to be attracted to a certain type of person. However, don’t let those red flags go over your head as soon as they come up. Consider looking for someone with different interests or even a different personality than what you usually go for. You might be surprised by how well you get along and complement each other. 

Make Communication a Priority

If you do decide to get into a relationship with someone new, choose to express yourself openly and honestly. 

One of the biggest reasons why so many relationships fail is a lack of healthy communication. When you’re open and honest about your feelings and your opinions, you’ll initiate strong, meaningful conversations that will bring you and your partner closer together. You’ll increase your intimacy, build trust, and you can even strengthen your relationship when you disagree on things with the right kind of communication. 

Every relationship is different. You never know how things will end up. But you can continue to make every endeavor better than the last by learning from past relationship mistakes. Keep these ideas in mind whether you’re casually dating or looking for a long-term partner. Feel free to contact me if you’re still struggling to find the connection you deserve. Couples counseling or relationship therapy can help you tune into what you want.