It’s often easy to see the best in other people, but the worst in ourselves. You are likely your harshest critic, and might focus on the “negative” things about yourself more than the positive.
But would you treat a friend that way? If someone you love made a mistake, how would you respond to them? Chances are, you would show kindness and compassion. You wouldn’t judge them harshly or criticize them for their feelings.
So, why don’t you show yourself the same grace?
If you have a hard time seeing yourself with compassion instead of criticism, there are things you can do to change your perspective. Let’s cover a few ways you can learn to see yourself in a different light, so you can show more kindness and care.
Identify Negative Self-Talk
Maybe you have an inner voice that serves as a harsh critic most of the time. In fact, maybe you’ve gotten so used to it that you don’t often recognize when it starts to tell you negative things about yourself. You simply believe those things blindly.
The first step in learning to see yourself with compassion is to identify those areas of negative self-talk. Identify when you are being self-critical and what might have triggered it. When you start to recognize certain patterns or pay attention to what is being said, you can take active steps to challenge those thoughts.
Instead of believing the negativity about yourself, replace negative phrases and ideas with positive ones.
For example, if your inner critic wants to say you’re a failure, replace that thought with something like, “It’s okay to make mistakes.”
Be More Mindful
Self-criticism tends to hold on to things you might have done in the past that you’re unhappy with. Or it might cause you to worry about the future and potential mistakes you will make. This pendulum swing of regret and worry can leave you feeling down about the things you’ve done and doubting the things you will do.
One of the best ways to get off such a ride is to practice mindfulness. Choose to stay grounded and present in the moment.
Close your eyes and focus on taking slow, deep breaths. Take in your surroundings. What do you feel, hear, and smell? By grounding yourself in the present, even for just a few moments, you can silence those negative thoughts and feel content with where you are.
Be Kind to Yourself
Give yourself the same kindness and care you would give to a loved one and embrace your humanity. Understand that making mistakes or simply not being perfect is part of the human experience. We all grow and learn from the things we do each day. It’s how you frame those experiences that will make a difference in how you see yourself.
When you choose to understand that, you won’t feel so isolated. You’ll recognize that you’re not alone on this journey of growth, and that can make a big difference in how you see yourself.
Stay Social
Speaking of not being alone, make sure you’re surrounding yourself with the right people in your support system. Isolating yourself from others is likely to make negative self-talk worse. Connecting with people who build you up and encourage you to be your best will help with personal growth and change your perspective on negative self-talk.
If you find that your inner critic seems to be getting louder, don’t give it the opportunity to take over. Consider reaching out for anxiety or depression therapy to silence it and to start seeing yourself with more compassion. I’m here to help you on that journey of inner healing and growth. Contact me to set up an appointment soon.