Insecurity, on its own, can impact nearly every area of your life. It might affect the way you work, your social circles, and even your willingness to try new things. But, maybe you’re fairly confident in most areas — except your relationship. 

Relationship insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy in a romantic relationship. It can cause you to doubt yourself, feel like you’re not good enough for your partner, or that they don’t really care for you. 

These insecurities can even cause you to start second-guessing your talents, skills, and what you bring to the table in a relationship. Obviously, that can create problems within your relationship, creating a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. 

So, what can you do to address the issue, and how can you start to heal? 

Understanding the Cause

couple talkingThe first step in addressing relationship insecurity is to know what’s causing it. While there’s no singular reason for this kind of insecurity, it often stems from negative experiences in past relationships. Maybe your self-esteem was shot down by another person, and you’ve never fully recovered. 

Or, you might deal with things like social anxiety, a fear of rejection, or even jealousy issues. All of these things can contribute to relationship insecurity and leave you feeling constantly on edge in your relationship. 

Signs of Relationship Insecurity

When you’re struggling with insecurity in your relationship, it can be all-consuming. You might find yourself dealing with negative intrusive thoughts more often than not, leading to symptoms like: 

  • Worrying that your partner might leave you at any moment
  • Worrying your partner is unfaithful
  • Persistent jealousy
  • Needing constant reassurance from your partner
  • Always checking in on your partner to know how they feel about the relationship

Sound familiar? It’s not necessarily uncommon for people in a relationship to deal with insecurities sometimes. But, when those negative thoughts start to take over and you have a hard time ever finding peace or comfort in your relationship, it’s a problem. 

Be Proactive

The best way to address relationship insecurity is to be honest with yourself. If you regularly experience any of the issues above, be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling and what it really is. 

Then, reframe the picture. Don’t use your insecurity as an excuse. By simply saying, “I’m just insecure,” you’re giving yourself a reason to stay stuck in your negative thinking patterns. Once you’ve addressed and admitted the issue, change your mindset. Getting rid of negative self-talk that wants you to be a victim is a fantastic first step on a healthy healing journey. 

Talk to Your Partner

Communication is essential to any healthy relationship. But, it should be a top priority when you’re dealing with relationship insecurity. Tell your partner how you’re feeling and don’t be afraid to put a label on it. Don’t look to them for reassurance, but let them know you need their support as you try to overcome these issues. You might find that your vulnerability makes your relationship feel more secure than ever. 

Get the Help You Deserve

Therapy can help to improve your confidence and give you the tools needed to overcome self-esteem and insecurity issues. More importantly, it will help you get to the root of what’s causing these issues, to begin with. 

You don’t deserve to live a life of self-doubt when you’re in a relationship. It’s not fair to you or your partner. Thankfully, there are ways of moving forward, no matter what happened to you in the past. 

If you’re interested in learning more about how therapy can help you heal from relationship insecurity, don’t hesitate to contact me for information or to set up an appointment for couples counseling