Going to couples therapy isn’t always an easy decision. Both partners need to be on board, and you’re probably already dealing with a variety of issues. So, you might think that things are slow-going at first. You might even wonder if couples therapy is really working.
It’s important to keep in mind that your relationship didn’t get into trouble overnight. If you’re looking for a “quick fix”, it’s probably not going to happen. Even if things could be patched up immediately, it would likely only be a band-aid that wouldn’t last forever.
Thankfully, there are some noticeable signs you can pay attention to that will help you determine if couples therapy is working. Finding those glimpses of success can make you more motivated to continue, and excited about the prospect of renewing your relationship.
So, how can you tell if couples therapy is really working for you?
You Feel a Bond With Your Therapist
Couples therapy requires both you and your partner to feel comfortable showing vulnerability. You need to be able to open up to your therapist, and you need to be able to trust them.
You should be able to tell after a few sessions whether you feel connected with your therapist or not. If you feel as though they really hear both of you, they take your needs seriously and seem genuinely committed to helping you as a couple, you’ve found a great one!
How do you feel about your therapist? Are you willing to open up to them? Do you value what they have to say, and do you truly believe they want to help you? If so, the therapy is working more than you might realize right now.
You’re Starting to Understand Your Emotions
Emotions demand to be felt. One way or another, feelings are going to pop up—especially in relationships. But, when you’re in the thick of tumultuous times, it’s easy to let those emotions take over everything.
When you’re in a vicious argument cycle with your partner, your emotions might take the wheel and drive. You probably don’t even realize you’re letting it happen in the moment, but it can cause you to say a lot of things you might regret later.
Therapy can help you better understand your emotions. While you can’t keep yourself from feeling certain things, you can learn where those emotions are stemming from. More importantly, you can learn how to handle them and remain in control. If you feel you’ve started to have more control over your emotions and you recognize where they’re coming from, you likely have couples therapy to thank for it.
You’re More Responsive During Therapy
It’s not uncommon for couples to start out feeling guarded or giving very dismissive answers—even in therapy.
Over time, those walls should start to crumble. Therapy should help you want to become more responsive to your partner, and vice versa. You’ll learn more about what’s getting in your way of effective communication, so you can start to overcome those barriers. If you’ve noticed more responsiveness and more communication in and out of therapy, it’s probably from the skills you’re learning and the things you’re discovering about your partner, yourself, and your relationship.
Couples therapy is a wonderful way to rebuild and strengthen your relationship. While it isn’t for everyone and doesn’t always guarantee things will work out, there are ways to tell if it’s working.
If you’re interested in learning more about couples therapy and whether it can help your relationship, feel free to contact me. You may just start to see the effectiveness of your sessions sooner than you think.
Click here to learn more about Couples Therapy.