When you’re a parent, it’s easy to focus on your “failures.” You might dwell on everything you’re doing wrong, or even find yourself worrying that you’re going to mess up more often than not.
It’s inevitable that yes, you will “mess up.” Every parent does, and it’s an important part of growing and learning. While most of your failures aren’t going to be as bad as you think, they can still take a toll on your self-esteem, your confidence as a parent, and even your overall mental well-being.
With so many opportunities to criticize yourself and your parenting, it’s important to celebrate the “wins” as well. The small victories can end up making a big difference and will make getting through the difficult times easier.
Still not convinced? Let’s take a closer look at why celebrating your parenting wins matters, and how you can do it more often.
Bad Moments Can Turn Into Bad Days—If You Let Them
When you’re so focused on your mistakes as a parent, they can start to change the way you think. Unfortunately, you’re not the only one that affects.
Feeling like a failure every day for making small mistakes can change your mood and make you seem distant from your child. They’ll pick up on that, and might wonder why you’re always so down, or why you don’t feel as connected.
Kids are very perceptive, and when you’re down on yourself, they’ll be the first ones to recognize it. When you take time to celebrate your parenting wins, you’ll realize that the “mistakes” are just bad moments. They don’t have to influence the entire day.
You’ll Get More Involved
When you celebrate small victories as a parent, you’ll be more motivated to be as involved as possible in your child’s life. When you feel like all you’re doing is “messing up,” you might feel like it’s better to step aside and not be as involved.
The small victories will let you know that you’re doing the best you can. The best part? The more time you spend with your child, the closer your relationship will be, and the more victories you’ll start to notice.
You’ll Be a Better Learner
It’s important to change your mindset when it comes to failures and wins. Even when you make mistakes, try looking at them as learning experiences.
No parent gets everything right all the time. But when you feel like you’ve done something wrong, you can grow from it. Use that growth and what you’ve learned to do things differently the next time, and don’t be afraid to recognize that change—it’s a victory.
You’re Setting an Example
Again, your kids are always paying attention. Even when it doesn’t seem like they’re watching what you do, they’ll always be quick to pick up on what you’re going through.
If you’re constantly focused on your failures, it will rub off on them. It could impact their self-esteem and cause them to develop a more pessimistic attitude. But, when they see you celebrating the wins—both in parenting and in life—they’re likely to replicate that attitude, too.
Think about other parents in your life. If you know they made an honest mistake or had a bad moment in the course of the day, how would you treat them? Chances are, you would be compassionate and understanding. You would remind them what a good parent they are.
It’s important to do the same with yourself. Be kind and self-compassionate, and celebrate the wins each day, no matter how small they are. You’ll be a better parent because of it, and less likely to struggle with your mental wellness.