Insecurities can cause a lot of setbacks in life. If you struggle with low self-esteem or you’ve been burned in past relationships, it’s not uncommon for those insecurities to carry over. 

Common signs of insecurities in a relationship include jealousy, clinginess, and a need for your partner’s validation. In the beginning, those things might not bother your partner. They might even think those traits are “cute”. 

But, the more your insecurities come forward, the more they can get in the way of a healthy, intimate relationship. 

When that happens, your partner might feel like they’re walking on eggshells, or that they can’t do anything right. Plus, when you don’t work through those insecurities, they often become worse. Feelings of jealousy and not being good enough can drive a wedge in your relationship, causing major problems quickly. 

So, what can you do about it before your insecurities tear your relationship apart? 

Boost Your Self-Esteem

woman worrying and putting her hands up in front of her face

Insecurities stem from a lack of self-esteem. 

Maybe it’s always something you’ve struggled with. Or, maybe you went through a bad experience that made you lose confidence in yourself. 

Whatever the case, the best way to get rid of those insecurities is by rebuilding your self-esteem. 

It’s not something that will happen overnight. Rather, it requires consistent self-care. While your partner can help to bolster you, they can’t do the work for you. Things like taking care of your body with exercise and eating right, finding a healthy work-life balance, or even booking a relaxing spa day are all great ways to improve your self-esteem.

Self-care isn’t selfish. For someone with insecurities, it’s a necessity. 

Give Your Partner Your Full Trust

When you’re insecure, you might shy away from being vulnerable. You might think your partner won’t like or approve of certain parts of you, or even ideas you have. 

Unfortunately, that mindset leads to poor communication in a relationship. Broken communication can ruin intimacy and make it hard to trust each other. 

Though it might not be easy at first, one of the best things you can do is to trust your partner. Be open and honest with them about your feelings, and don’t be afraid to talk about your personal doubts. 

Trust that they will understand and be there for you as a support system. 

When you open up to your partner, you’re letting them know how much you value them and your relationship. That can boost their own esteem and motivation to keep the relationship strong. Plus, you’ll feel a huge weight lifted from your shoulders. The more willing you are to open up to your partner, the more understanding they’ll be of your struggles. 

Let Go of the Past

It’s important to understand the root cause of your insecurities. Once you have a better understanding of where they stem from, it’s easier to work on them. 

While no one ever really forgets the past, you can let go of it to move forward. That might mean forgiving people who hurt you. It could also mean forgiving yourself. 

The good news? You don’t have to do that on your own. It’s not always easy to dig into painful memories or think about things you’ve been trying to avoid for years. Talking to a therapist is a great way to uncover the root of your insecurities so you can work on effective ways to let them go. 

If you’re worried about your relationship and you know your insecurities are getting in the way, feel free to contact me. Together, we’ll work to uncover where those insecurities come from, and go over practical solutions for keeping them out of your relationship. 

Click to learn more about Couples Counseling or Anxiety Counseling.