Sex used to be somewhat of a “taboo” subject to talk about. However, more people are being open about their sex lives than ever. 

It’s hard to avoid, really. We’re inundated with it in everything from television and movies to books and songs. Even your group of friends might make their sex lives the topic of conversation whenever you go out together. 

While being more open about sex can be healthy and liberating, it can also make you feel self-conscious or question if you and your partner are having enough sex. 

We’ll dive a bit deeper into that below. Most importantly, however, your sex life and intimate time need to be defined by you and your partner—not by others. 

What Is “Enough” Sex? 

You’ll hear a different answer from just about everyone if you were to ask this question. Some people are content with sex once a week. Others enjoy it multiple times a week, and some couples are perfectly fine being intimate once a month. 

Did you notice a theme? Contentment. 

Sex shouldn’t necessarily have a specific timeline. It’s about what makes you feel content, desired, loved, and connected as a couple that really matters. 

There have been studies that have noted the effects of having sex with a partner every day. While it can help you feel more connected, it’s not necessarily the right solution if there’s something “missing” from your sex life that you’re trying to fill. 

Quality Over Quantity 

If you’re concerned you’re not having enough sex, have you thought about why that might be? Maybe you feel that way because your intimate time isn’t what you want it to be. 

If you want to feel more connected and bonded to your partner, focus less on how often you’re having sex, and more on what you’re feeling when you do. 

Consider talking to your partner about your needs and wants, physically and emotionally. They aren’t mind readers and if you’re not expressing your sexual desires, they aren’t going to know how to fulfill them. 

It’s important for you to be just as open to their needs and wants in the bedroom as well. In fact, just talking about it together can help to ignite a “spark” and improve the quality of your intimate time. 

Dedicate Time to Each Other

If both you and your partner think you’re not having enough sex, the next best thing to do is to schedule it! 

While that might not sound very romantic or intimate, it can be. By making sex a part of your schedule (as often as you both want), you’re showing your partner that you’re dedicated to them and your relationship. You’re making your sex life a priority—what’s more romantic than that? 

You might also want to consider how you can make the most of that time. It might not mean jumping into bed immediately. Rather, consider both of your needs and desires and how you can incorporate them into your intimate time together. 

Is Your Sex Life Struggling? 

Whether the problem is not having enough sex or that you feel something is lacking from your intimate moments, it’s important to strengthen your connection and find a physical vulnerability with your partner. 

If you’re having trouble doing that on your own, consider reaching out for help. 

Not having enough sex doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed—especially if you still want to enjoy that intimate time together! Rather, there might be something getting in the way. It could be anything from busy schedules to a lack of communication. 

Whatever the case, feel free to contact me to set up an appointment. Together, we can get to the bottom of those issues and help you foster a healthier, more fulfilling sex life within your relationship