Adoption is such an impacting process. You are filled with so many emotions, such as joy and delight. However, feeling trepidation and anxiety are reasonably common, too.
You decided once to open your heart for a child who needed a home. Now that things have settled, you have begun considering whether or not adopting the second time is in the future.
You might even have already searched online, whether adopting the second tine is easier or harder. The answer is that it all depends.
Here are some thoughts to reflect on when thinking about a second adoption.
Feeling Less Overwhelmed
Ideally, if you did adopt for the second time, the process would probably be less overwhelming and confusing. You would have a better idea of the steps you needed to take as well as the order of events. Note that words like “hopefully” and “ideally” are being used here!
Mostly because, on the other hand, knowing how the system works can also be stressful, too. However, in general, when you do something the second time around, it’s more familiar and less stressful than the first time.
Perhaps when you first decided to adopt, you asked yourself if you were ready for this. That makes sense, as adoption can bring out feelings that question your self-confidence.
“Can I really do this?” or “Am I ready?” These might cause you to doubt your decision, even up to the very last second. However, if you’re reading this, adoption was a choice you didn’t regret. Now you likely can’t imagine life without your child.
There’s that old saying, “You’ll be as ready as you’ll ever be.” It reminds us that no amount of preparation can satisfy our doubts as to whether you are ready until you follow through.
Considering the Financial Impact
When considering adopting the second time, finances do come to mind. You might not have fully understood the financial impact of bringing a child into your home until you adopted the first time.
Now, money that you would have spent on yourself for an indulgence goes to groceries, sports uniforms, music lessons, etc. Of course, you want to provide these things for your child.
Therefore, it is a good idea to review your finances if you are considering welcoming a second child into your home. Consulting with a financial advisor would be a good idea too.
Understanding the Impact on Your Relationship
If you are with a partner, then it’s also critical that you both consider the impact of adoption on your relationship. Hopefully, your first adoption only added to your relationship.
But, of course, every couple experiences times of stress when they have a child. This theme is true, whether it is a biological child or one that they adopt. Talk things over with your partner, and be honest with yourselves if whether adopting again is the right choice for you.
Deciding to Adopt the Second Time
It would be helpful to have a research study or statistic that could tell you if adopting the second time is easier or harder. However, no matter how challenging, the decision is ultimately up to you. All the data in the world can’t help you to understand what lies in your heart truly. Do some soul searching to get a clearer picture of what this means.
Some ideas include:
- Go on a mini-vacation to reflect on the question.
- Write your thoughts down in a journal.
- Take time to meditate to explore your thoughts.
- Ask for insight from friends or family members.
Another resource available to you is adoption counseling. A counselor can help you to discover for yourself whether adopting the second time is right for you.
Please reach out to me today for support in your adoption decision or visit my adoption counseling page to learn more.